Do you find yourself examining different aspects of your relationships and often thinking it is “their fault” or “they are in this way”?
When you think in this way you are projecting and when you are projecting you disown what you don’t believe is yours. You are putting outside of yourself a part of you that you are not ready to admit to or that you cannot see. We call this part of ourselves our shadow.
Embracing our shadow side allows us to also embrace the gift that comes from the part of the shadow that is lit. Isn’t that interesting?
We cannot see in others what we don’t already have inside. When we point our finger at someone else in a derogatory way or in praise, it is because we have that same thing within us. It may be in our shadow on in our light, but you can rest assured it is within us.
When you come to understand you contain everything you see in others your entire world will alter.
Since the Universe always works with us and for us, if there is an aspect of ourselves we don’t accept we will continuously attract people in our lives who act out that aspect. “Ain’t that nice”!
The gift in this stems from the fact that with some aspects of ourselves, unless we don’t accept the shadow part, we cannot rejoice from acknowledging the gift within it. So imagine, for example, the power from accepting that “yes, I am a geek, because you know what, I am also super intelligent” (assuming that being a geek is an aspect you disown).
Shadow work is a big part of the healing process when you are moving from emotional pain into joy and opening up to love. I work with my clients to help them recognize their shadow AND welcome it together with its gift.
Here is a simple exercise you can do to get a better gist on this. Imagine there was an article written about you in a local newspaper. What are 5 things you would not want to be said about you? And what would be 5 things they could say about you that wouldn’t matter to you? The litmus test is to realize that all these words reflect aspects of you. The trick is that you were taught at an early age by family and friends that the first 5 words are the wrong things to be. Taking back these aspects of ourselves we have disowned is a crucial part our the journey to love. This is a road that leads to our inner freedom.
Feel free to contact me to learn more about the way I work with my clients and shadow work. I will put a button below so you can contact me.
Love and LOTS OF LIGHT!
Valerie Bottazzi
Love Coach & Healer
