Confession time
Heart-throbbing heart-wrecking pain, physical and emotional, my hair was falling off in chunks, I couldn’t sleep more than 2 or 3 hours per night from my stress level, I lived with irritable bowel syndrome for almost 2 years, and my mind wrestled between finding some magical solution to my problems and finding a way to end my problems by ending my life. Literally.
Yes I have been there and that is why I ache for you when I hear you tell me your story. When I hear you tell me:
♥ “I feel overwhelmed”
♥ “I can’t keep going like this”
♥ “I don’t know what I want”
♥ “I am confused as to were to start”
♥ “I must take action, I must to something, but nothing I have been doing has worked”
♥ “I know I am not like this, yet I can’t figure our how to get back into being my usual self”
♥ “I feel hopeless”
♥ “I am afraid if this doesn’t work then that will be the end of it”
All of these are “doomsday” emotions I have heard my clients sharing with me. I ache when I hear these statements because I empathize with the emotions you are feeling, since I have been there myself and I know them first hand.
Through pain I have learned that when I feel stuck, desperate and devastated, it is because I FORGET WHO I AM, in those moments I forget we are one and I feel “separate”. It is the “separation” that brings over the doomsday feelings.
I don’t live my life as in “a rosy every day is wonderful” way. I put myself on the line and I challenge my comfort zone and days like today are a bit harder.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with my old schemes coming through: fear and doubt; THE OPPOSITE OF TRUST AND FAITH, Separation versus union. BUT…. Yes BUT… I have learned to deal with this pain in a completely different way than I used to.
I now let it come, I embrace it and recognize it, I dive fully into the fear and look at it in the eye…. And upon doing this, the feeling subsides, slowly and softly it subsides. Then I do a healing meditation with colors… yes COLORS!
♥ Red…. to ground myself, because in order to go high up above we must be grounded
♦ Yellow… to remind myself that it is okay to let go of control and TRUST
♣ Green… because it is the space of the heart, alchemical and because it is a universal self-healing color
♥ Violet… to allow for the connection with my higher self and with source to open myself to the magic
And alas! I have a new spunk on my step. My accepting it rather than pushing it back has alchemically transformed the anxiety that I felt last night. It sounds counter intuitive, like when we ski downhill and our intuition wants us to lean backwards, which would have us sliding downhill on our butts…. Instead what they teach us is LEAN INTO THE SLOPE…. And this is the same thing we must do with our fears and our pain, surrender to it, lean into it.
That is why I wanted to share this post with you. Because we are all humans and I know that at one point or another we have all confronted fear and pain or we are living it right now.
My heart goes out to you, to embrace your heart and to reach out for you.
There is more than one creative way out. There are many solutions. We have them inside of us but at times we need help to tap into them.
I am here for you. Remember you don’t have to go at it alone.
When you are ready to let go of pain and step into your next level of existence, go ahead and book your Purpose Activation Session.
During your “Purpose Activation Session,” you are going to get clear about what is stopping you from living a meaningful life with passion & purpose. You will walk away knowing the #1 action step you can take so you can start living the life you dream of.
Here is the link:
Book Now YOUR “Purpose Activation Session
With Love,
Shine bright!
Valerie Bottazzi
Life Coach & Healer